What is My Purpose When I Communicate?

Problem:
I am ready to start communicating with others to discover where they are. Finding out where they are will help me discover if they are the Mate I am looking for. What should my focus be?


Scripture and Text:
II Corinthians 5:17-19 says:
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new. Now all things are of God, who has reconciled us to Himself through Jesus Christ, and has given us the ministry of reconciliation, that is, that God was in Christ reconciling the world to Himself, not imputing their trespasses to them, and has committed to us the word of reconciliation.

Exercise #1:
What does this passage of scripture tell us our responsibility is toward others? When seeking a relationship, should I focus on ministry or marriage?


Instruction:
Our responsibility to others is to minister the Spirit of Christ, which is Reconciliation to the Father. That is our responsibility to all of mankind, saved and unsaved whether they are a friend or a relative. We should always be seeking to bring others into the presence of our Father. Every opportunity you are given to dialogue with others is an opportunity for God to show up. You may discover in your dialogue that you are not compatible with a person today. But, if you remain in communication you may discover something about yourself that needs to change. Or you may discover that you know someone who is looking for someone just like this person. You may find that this person needs more Jesus than they currently have and the only way they may get it is if you remain in communication with them to invite them to church or to keep sharing the Word with them.

Consider this: If you are an employer looking to fill an executive position, you have a process you need to follow. You advertise the job, accept applications, review the applications and schedule interviews with the applicants who are most qualified for the position. You are an equal opportunity employer. All applicants are welcome. There is only one position to be filled, but you are willing to review the qualifications with the same measuring stick for all applicants. Those applicants who do not get called for an interview, have their application put on file. That is what being single is like. You are conducting interviews for a particular position. If the person doesn’t qualify for this position, it doesn’t mean they won’t qualify for another position. What if you fill the position and find out the new employee quits after only a few months? Wouldn’t it make sense to be able to go back in the files and locate a person who may now be more qualified than they were a few months ago and who is still available and willing to fill the position? A good employer sees the potential in every candidate.

How Do I Find My Mate?

Problem:

I have heard that as a Man of God, I should be looking for a woman who has been hidden. As a Woman of God, I should be hidden and not approach a man for a potential relationship. What should I be doing to find my mate?


Scripture and Text:
Proverbs 18:22 says: He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the LORD.

Exercise #1:
What does this scripture mean to you? Should a woman remain hidden until a man finds her? Explain why you believe what you believe.

Complete the Exercise and then Read the Instructions Below

Instruction:
Have you ever considered that the man who wrote the text (Solomon) had 700 wives and 300 concubines?

1 Kings 11:3-4 says: “ He had seven hundred wives of royal birth and three hundred concubines, and his wives led him astray. As Solomon grew old, his wives turned his heart after other gods, and his heart was not fully devoted to the LORD his God, as the heart of David his father had been.”

Solomon had a problem with the women in his life and understandably his advice would not be for a man to take a wife who approached him with her own thoughts and ideas on how a relationship should progress.

But, no matter how we read the passage, it never says a woman should remain hidden. It only declares what happens when a man finds a Wife. People use this scripture to make comments like “A Woman Should Be Hid!” and will argue with you if you disagree. This is what I like to call “Church Ebonics”. Church Ebonics are phrases that are adapted to explain church vernacular. If you ask these same people how they met their mate, they will use other Church Ebonics like “My husband/wife/I wasn’t saved when we got married”. When you ask them what it means for a woman to be hidden, they say things like “No woman should be approaching a man” or “The woman should wait for the man to speak to her”. They may say, “God told them” that was their wife or husband. When you ask them how they communicated with the person what God said, they tend to digress into other Church Ebonics to keep from admitting the obvious.

What’s the obvious? I’m glad you asked. The reality is that outside of marriages that are pre-arranged in traditional cultures, Marriage is entered into as a result of a dialogue or communication between two people where they ultimately decide and come into agreement that they would like to be together in a more permanent relationship.

Once you understand that communication is what produces and maintains a marital relationship, you will focus more on asking and answering questions to obtain the answers and results you need to move forward so that you can reach your destiny (Marriage) with the least amount of resistance. If you as a woman stay “hid” and don’t permit yourself to ask the necessary questions of a potential mate, how will you discover where they are? If you as a man are looking for a wife who remains “hidden”, how will you know the real person unless you allow her to be revealed? Communication and dialogue is the key.